Dude…What you want from your life?

“Mmmm….it depends… What do you want from your life…”

How many times you hear people saying this phrase? Especially when you have to choose something and you are trying to get a ready made solution and a clear guidance towards that choice?

The first time I heard this phrase was,  when I was trying to fetch an answer, on making my very first career choice and discussing the same with my mentor. I asked him what would be the best option for me, whether going for a post graduation or taking up the job offer I had in my hand, after graduation. I’d expected an answer that would state a crisp and clear picture of what is more beneficial and that after discussing with him, all my stress will vanish and I will become a clear minded soul, with a reinforced decision from a very capable and experienced professional. But what he replied, in actual, was…“It depends…on what you want from your life. What’s your priority?” Ooops… again, I was left confused. The ball was, again in my Court.

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What to do…what do I want?

I mean…how do I decide what I want. I want everything. I can’t limit my desires or wishes or dreams to merely money or merely work or merely architecture, for that matter.

Today when I look back, I realize that, it was just the beginning; beginning of a life as an independent individual who has to take his/her life decisions not depending on what’s the best, instead on what suits them the best. It was the beginning to know that different people have different situations, different inclination , different choices and hence different solutions to even similar problems. It was just a beginning to know that we all are, people with our own individuality.

I took my first decision based on what suited my instincts at that time and so do I till date. The only difference being, as you grow up, you define your instincts, you understand yourself better. You understand what your priorities are, what works for you and that’s why people say….depends…what you want from your life.

Yesterday again, there was a discussion going on with my peers, regarding what’s the best place to work. And again after so many ifs and buts, after a long discussion on varied facts and figures, the only conclusion we could derive was….depends….what you want from your life. But today, I don’t feel astounded at this inference, because by now, I have understood, life is not about merely blacks and whites. There are so many shades of grey in between. People have different paradigms and different situations and their decisions should be based on their priorities only.

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Choices we make

Just because I am writing this, uska matlab ye nhi ki I have reached that ultimate state of wisdom and self awareness. It doesn’t mean that I am very clear on what I want from life; I am still the one who wants everything, still the ambitions are high without any compromise 😉 But today, I have my priorities in place, which keep getting refined with time and which help me, in taking my small and bigger decisions; which help fetch certain things just now while others are pushed a little back.

So, are you clear on what you want? Have you been able to define your wishlist? Do you like to go with the flow, or do you channelize the things on your chosen track? Please share with us. You never know who gets a favor from your viewpoint.

Life is too short to waste anyway…

“Life is short… Don’t waste it in doing things you don’t like”

Sounds like a cliche?

Yes it is…but think again. Doesn’t it seem to you that the nature is ringing it’s alarm bells really loud, to convey that LIFE is uncertain; something that is very dear,  very valuable to us. We spend years and years to make it secure, invest in all sorts of insurance policies to not to take any chance, work really really hard to be comfortable in future, even don’t mind stepping onto others to win over the rat race. And for what? Just to secure our future, insure our life? But just see, how vulnerable it is.

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It’s merely 5th month of the year and 2-3 massive earthquakes in a row; undue, untimely rains spoiling all the crop; and if that’s not enough, some crazy people madly killing innocent human beings for their some own illogical reasonings.

Even if we don’t talk about the uncalled for end to this precious life due to the pangs of nature or some stupid accidents caused by someone’s “minor” mistake, even then it’s true that LIFE IS SHORT; it is finite. We all have a limited number of breaths deposited into our accounts that can neither be stolen nor transferred to anybody else. So… Time for a reality check!!!

Think again guys… What are we upto? What’s that we are running after? Is it something that will fetch us the ultimate satiety.

Ghar, gaadi, paisa…all these material possessions are perishable, they are not permanent. So why not invest in stakes that will remain forever, at least till the time we are. Something that may not let you repent that you didn’t live…

I think it’s high time now to get started today. Live more, love more. Do what you have always desired to, be what you have always aspired to. The winner of a rat race still remains the rat, have that borne in mind. Futile tensions and feuds, merely for these superficial gains is a total loose-loose situation.

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The day we leave,there might be many to dos still pending in our lists, but just make sure they may not be the breaths you wanted to take in pleasure; the moments you wanted to live with your loved ones; the deeds you wanted to do for good of others; the ways you had figured out for a dream life.

One of my friends shared a beautiful quote a few days back:

Zindagi mili to thi kisi k kaam ane mein


Par guzar rhi hai kagaz k kuch tukde kamane mein…

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So for that, don’t wait anymore and get started, today itself. Make all your efforts to add meaning to your life. After all, LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE IN DOING SOMETHING THAT YOU DON’T LIKE…

A Comeback note…hopefully ;-)

2 years and 11 months… It’s exactly this long that took me to finally open the dormant WordPress app, which I too maintained very religiously on my phone inspite of several reminders from Clean master to uninstall the unused app.

Although all this while, I wanted to come and post but today it was the WordPress email that compelled me to check out what’s happening in this mini world of mine. Above all, the email title was also very flattering, ” I miss you and so do other people! ” 😉

And now…that I have revisited, I would first introduce the cute little addition to my life that has added a new dimension to myself and perhaps kept me occupied for most of the past 2 years. Yes, I am talking about my darling daughter who is now a congenital part of my life.

Hence, one thing is apparent. It was not a writer’s block nor had the thoughts popping in my head vanished. They were even more prevalent, even more vociferous instead.

But every time I think of expressbywords, there’s a craving to come back and not let it be a history. After all the theme of this blog in first place was to do all that you want to do and not be slaves to daily routines and tasks.

And that’s why perhaps, I am back again…hopefully…to talk more, to express more, to share more…and of course…to live more.

Hoping to see you guys more frequently!!!
Rashmi

P.S…Mum I Love You

Remember VIRUS from 3 idiots? And his Power nap of 7.5 minutes? :):):)

I, too, am on a Power Break these days; Power Break of 3-4 days. I am with my parents, especially my Mum, having loads of fun and frolic, yummy food and dishes, shopping, long chats about dresses, hairstyles, lifestyle, home, furnishings, relationships and much more. It’s total fun-a world away from the world.

Courtesy: Google Doodle

But it’s not been the same since ever. It’s the same oh-so strict and tough Mom who ensured every intricate detail to inculcate discipline in our lives. Getting up on time, fixed playing hours, home-work on time, no bunk from schools, eating all veggies and that porridge, keeping our rooms and Almira tidy-in short, a total no-non-sense. Whether school or extra curricular activities, she has always inspired spontaneously. That’s how she nurtured a few skills too, in us. But at the same time, kept us always grounded. I remember getting even 98% marks at a time in school and still feeling ‘I could have performed better, had I attempted that exam question as she had taught me to’.

Like all other mothers, she has been protective too but never let her tears or emotions dwindle us. Instead, she kept things so convenient for us, providing all the comforts required, which we could never even realize as kids. Warm and nutritious food, clean and ironed clothes, neat and tidy rooms, in short taking care of our minutest necessity without even making us realize she’s doing it for us. Now that I manage my household, I can comprehend what pain she’s been taking all these years to make sure we are conveniently carrying out our chores and assignments. It’s now that I recognize she’s so much like me only (I know it’s vice-versa, but  I knew only myself till so many years) but she kept herself aside in nourishing us perfectly.

Courtesy: Google Images

Even today I wonder how convenient things seem to be, when she’s there, how I don’t need to put any effort in any planning or scheduling, how her mere presence makes everything seem so simple, so conducive. How sharing every minute detail with her gives so much of assurance and confidence that we are on the right track. How she always has some better idea/suggestion in every respect (sorry Papa, this is applicable to you as well, but it’s Mother’s Day, so today you can surely call me Mummy ki Chamchi).

Don’t know if I can ever become that indispensable part for my family but wherever I am, whatever I am, I’ll always need my Mommy.

P.S…Mum I Love You!!!


It’s the time to think ‘inside’ the box

What is the most interesting thing you have come across lately? What one single thing that amazed/shocked you in recent times?

The huge percentiles that people accomplish in CAT & other exams year after year or the cut-off list ending at mere 95% for the top universities; the dance performances by those young chaps in dance reality shows or Archana Pooran Singh’s hysterically continuous laughter in those comedy shows; the flashing breaking news for Sachin’s ‘shatakon ka shatak’ or latest news on Bollywood celebrities’ break-ups and patch-ups; the anti-corruption movements, indefinite fasts by variety of people or the news of murderous killings and accidents. What exactly makes you feel shocked? What is something that you never heard of before?

Yes, this is what I am trying to point out, as Simran at Radio City says, “the shock value of things has reduced to a great extent”.

Oh that dress is so common!

Hmm that dance is so average!

No no! his child is not very outstanding

Huh this hairdo is so usual

(Or as my boss says, “Oh is elevation ko dekh ke maza nhi aaya, do something nice/interesting)

Last Sunday I somehow managed to get a glimpse of  our handsome star Hrithik Roshan at Ambience Mall, where they announced to select a girl who could get a chance to dance with Hrithik. Now how they can select, and that too, randomly? One has to be really eye catching, drawing attention. A screeching voice came from the enormous crowd, “Hrithik we want to see you shirtless” and obviously she became the lucky one to reach the podium.

Hence, there is no limit to people exceeding limits today. In such a scenario, it’s really tough to genuinely utilize your talent and carve a niche in this world. The easy access to information in our era, has somehow made things seem so boring, so used-to, so common.

This is precisely the reason why we often see people adopting weird and even unfair means, at times, to seek attention. That is why there is a long queue of people  who strongly believe that negative publicity is still a publicity. Dolly Bindra, Pooja Mishra, Rakhi Sawant, Poonam Pandey, The Dirty Picture are some fresh examples. Even kids know this dialogue now-“Kuch logon ka naam un ke kaam se hota hai, mera naam badnaam hoke hua“. Then it reminds me the weirdest song of recent times Kolaveri Di, to which still my heart is amazed how can that ridiculous song be so popular, in spite of that my head knows the fact very well. How the oh-so usual film Delhi Belly turned into a blockbuster because of its bold and abusive language is another example that unless it is something striking, something weird, things don’t catch our eyes.

Looking close-by in our surrounds too, we often feel the intensity of such emotions when people behave in a certain manner that may guarantee them a tag called ‘different’ or ‘not like others’ or ‘not belonging to the herds’. The ones who can speak endlessly, present  their thought-provoking ideas which are actually total non-sense, the ones who dress so weird to carry a unique attitude  and confident image or the ones who show-off they are only comfortable having paranthas with fork or a poor banana too, with a fork. (Remember Delhi Belly, once again?)

When such things irritate us so much, we must put an end to them and of course, should start from ourselves. Getting a limelight is difficult, but going beyond sensibility to fetch that limelight-is it a right choice baby? If your answer is no, the rest of the post is for you.

Since there is no limit to excellence or talent in this world, that doesn’t mean we should not discover our own. You never know how many unexplored piles of talent lie within you. I read a sensible article few days back and arrived at a conclusion that keeping only you as a benchmark and striving to bring out the best in you, can ensure a much fulfilling, satisfying and contented lifetime than a rat race where in the end you still remain a rat. At least you are satisfied at the end of each day and even by the end of your life, that you lived a great life.

As Vinita Dawra Nangia pointed out rightly in her blog “The fight is not to leave others behind, but to achieve one’s own full potential.” Or else refer to Aamir Khan’s dialogue in 3 idiots “Chase excellence and success would follow.” Hence short cuts are only for those who believe they can not excel.

Living once again…this New Year

So guys, I believe the New Year bash is finally over. After spending around a week in wrapping up 2011, rewinding all the important as well as beautiful things it brought by, making your houses as well as minds clutter-free, resolving the dilemma of making New Year Resolutions or not, having good food, fun and frolic, sending and receiving so many New Year wishes across friends and family, and above all, spending a lazily luxurious Sunday at the start of this fabulous year 2012, you might be back to the normal lives now.

Like most of you, the only words I could hear/read in this time is – HAPPY NEW YEAR. It seems as if everybody is programmed to utter those words before beginning any conversation or write them on their pages to do their bit; their bit in wishing that the current year brings all the joys and happiness to you, that your dreams may come true, that you make all success in this current year.

But you also know well, happiness doesn’t come solely through wishes. Being simply happy for the rest of the year, is not an easy game. It requires certain efforts on our part too. Although I had shared this post last year on the ways to stay happy, I believe, by now, you too might have made certain efforts in the earlier years of your lives, understanding what all can make you happy.

But this year, come forward to understand what takes you aback, what spoils your peace of mind. See why you become vulnerable to the situations and how you allow them to pre-dominate and encroach on your time. Hence, before focusing on other targets that you have lined up for this year, strike at the very basic necessity of living better. Learn to let go, to forgive; whether it’s somebody else or you, yourself. Make an actual new start this new year. Promise yourself to be stronger than the situations, to at least not let petty things overwhelm you and your peace, to not let them drain out your new energy and enthusiasm.

I am sure this de-cluttering, this unloading of resentments can let you focus 100% on the things that are genuinely important, that can make a difference in your lives indeed. Only then, those hundreds and thousands of wishes will work wonders.

To let a happy start to my New Year, I pampered us with this rich Vanilla Fruit and Nut Cake made at home. After all, they say You Live, Only Once. Then why not live happily.


One Year:expressed-by-words

The New Year Day is yet 16 days away, then which one year I am referring to? Since you clicked the title to read this post, by now, you might have a fair idea of what the rest of post is all about.

That’s right, it was one year back that I posted something on this space. Although my husband was pressing upon me since long  to start-up a blog and write about our excursion to the Indian heritage in Agra and Fatehpur Sikri, accounting for the delicacy and artistry, we caught a glimpse of. But I was not very sure, if I wanted to have a blog, if I had any plans to continue it further and even if I do, what all I’ll be posting about.

But sometimes it is better not to Begin With The End In Mind :). Because at such times, you are destined to undergo something as blissful as my experience with expressbywords.

Refinement of random thoughts

Once I framed the first draft of our journey, composed it with all that we actually felt there, refined those early drafts with suitable vocabulary and grammar, transformed the entire experience into words and posted it on the web, it was such a pleasure looking at that self-written post again and again. And then followed the obvious-‘an addiction to this pleasure‘.

Unlike journal-ling, this process has somehow created a few preserve-able pieces of writing, which I can cherish throughout my life. Because it’s not merely emptying the contents of mind on paper and that is why it didn’t need to be burnt away or torn into pieces.

Keener observation

Now things don’t simply pass across my mind. Rather, a natural process of ‘being analyzed automatically’ has inculcated into the mechanism and the worthwhile are kept for further consideration :).

And as someone has said ‘90% perfect and published always changes more lives than 100% perfect and stuck in your head’. So it further encourages to get keener on observing the world around. Also, I stated long back“I have so many thoughts and I need to communicate them” :) And today for me, things are not expressed well unless they are expressed-by-words.

The new connections

The best of all is the new kind of bonds it created, whether the people I already knew or those whom I never met, with the people who are like-minded or what Marya calls as her own tribe. So I won’t miss this chance to thank you all-in whatever way you’re connected to expressbywords, I am glad and thankful that you devoted your precious time here.

In this one year, expressbywords has become a ‘Way of Life’ to me. And I hope and I wish it goes way ahead further for many more years and takes much more beautiful shape. As of now, let’s celebrate this happy occasion with a chocolate or anything else that you like to have. Once again, heartiest thanks to you all.